Американский пирог английские субтитры

Смотреть «Американский пирог» (1999) с английскими субтитрами в Full HD качестве

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Американский пирог (American Pie)

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Jim, Oz, Finch and Kevin are four friends who make a pact that before they graduate they will all lose their virginity. The hard job now is how to reach that goal by prom night. Whilst Oz begins singing to grab attention and Kevin tries to persuade his girlfriend, Finch tries any easy route of spreading rumors and Jim fails miserably. Whether it is being caught on top of a pie or on the Internet, Jim always ends up with his trusty sex advice from his father. Will they achieve their goal of getting laid by prom night? Or will they learn something much different?

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Nouns

goody-goody choirgirl priss?

— You’re still just a batboy. — Batboy. Batboy.

goody-goody choirgirl priss?

In demonology

Chickety China, the Chinese chicken, have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’

The cretin cloning and feeding

She has her curler set, her credit cards are paying the funds

Gonna get a set of better clubs, gonna find the kind with tiny nub

Fingertips have memories I can’t forget the curves of your body

Yeah, you know, «pounding the ol’ pud.»

Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky?

— The keg‘s back there! Enjoy! — Yeah.

Yeah, uh. Don’t you think you fella could try a little tact?

Oh, he’s always ready to study. He’s a real bookworm, this kid.

Yeah, uh. Don’t you think you fellas could try a little tact?

Uh, my date’s a flute-toting band dork. Does that answer your question?

— Right. — The whole groin area.

I am the summertime

Scooby-dooby doo bah scoo-scooby-dooby dooby-dooby doo bah

No, I spent 50 on the flask, 150 on the earrings.

Fuckers! Fuckers, fucker!

No, it’s not that. I think it’ll work better as a duet with a tenor part.

But you are just a jock. No, wait. You’re a jerk.

— Another party sultan! — How ya doin’?

Don’t you bother to choose if it’s jug band music or rhythm and blues

— She’s a mermaid, dude. — Yeah, Oz. But not when she’s on land.

If you believe in magic Ooh, magic

I have no idea. Finch showers with his bathing suit on.

Verbs

Naturally, I embellish a little bit.

God, it’s like just because I don’t get drunk and barf every weekend.

— That’s how I was dupe. — Look, Jessica,

Very arousing women. They arouse me.

And then he just puke his brains out.

Been starve for attention before

— And the birds are all scramble and I can’t even. — Do me! Yes!

— Qualify for what? — My man, you’ve just inherit the Bible.

Who salute but no one ever does

But you know your Uncle Mort? He «pinch the one-eyed snake» 5, 6 times a day.

Shaved is a magazine I’m not too familiar with,

Nadia, please, please. I’m beg you.

Hear the voices in my head I swear to God

I-I mean, the scars heal really well.

And I’m not gonna stand around here bust my balls over something that,

He pause shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb

I mean, it really bother me when people try to pigeonhole me like that.

That remind me of this one time.

My logic has been torn apart And now

for the past couple of months, we’ve decided that you are now reject.»

Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti!

What d’ya say, fellas? I just dig those cute little sweaters she wears.

And when I do talk to them, I screw it up.

— Mmm, you’re dead. — God in heaven smiles on those who pray

Yes! And he was such a dork. Everyone laugh at me.

No money involve. More important than any bet.

How the hell am I suppose to become Mr. Sensitive Man?

That was a bad idea. I’m sorry I invite you.

Adverbs

I need your help with this, blah, blah, etcetera.»

You got someplace more important to be, Ostreicher?

We had one of those amazingly deep conversations.

I mean, how am I supposed to know what my «most emotionally significant moment» was?

I mean, all the parties afterwards? The chicks are going to want to do it.

Now, I just want you to know that it’s-it’s a perfectly normal, uh, thing.

I don’t want you coming so damn early this time.

So, basically, prom is our last chance.

Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards.

Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson

So I said, «This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca.»

— Does he have a date for the prom yet? — No, definitely not.

My logic has been torn apart And now

Indeed! Some fine ladies here, boys.

What exactly does third base feel like?

Perhaps I could come by your house afterwards?

Is it because we have a test tomorrow? Sometimes I get cranky.

We-We are finally going to a post-prom party on the lake.

Leave today Don’t fall behind

Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards.

quite frankly, isn’t that damn important.

Look, I gotta go. 16 minutes round-trip.

— These vocal jazz girls are hot. — Why the hell is he joining jazz choir so late?

Oh! I almost forgot. I, uh, I bought some magazines.

How about you guys actually locate your dicks,

She’s kind of looking right into your eyes saying,

I’m gonna go inside and grab my bag.

Don’t worry. You’ll get her back soon enough.

Adjectives

No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused!

You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian chick? She might be there tonight.

I feel so uninspired

This is a foolproof plan, my friend.

This place is an untapped resource.

— Dad. — That means. He’s not-not one of those nerdy guys but.

Like Sting I’m tantric Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy

This here is your. is your more, uh, exotic, risque magazine.

— That guy’s in my trig class. — Oh, no.

Just enjoying my first exhilarating lacrosse experience.

Now, they have decided to focus on the, uh, pubic region.

Like Harrison Ford I’m getting frantic

Why do you got to be so insensitive all the time?

— This is disgusting. — What the fuck is this?

— He’s still embarrassed because Finch kicked his ass. — Who told you that?

Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together,

on his old, drunken friend, Falstaff.

Love is tragic Love is bold

Post-modern feminist thought.

I never did it with baked goods.

No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused!

Hey, Stifler? How’s the pale ale?

So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking?

— Be gentle. — Okay.

How does a guy like that get this sudden reputation?

Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together,

Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants.

There is a gorgeous woman. masturbating on my bed!

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Смотреть «Американский пирог 3: Свадьба» (2003) с английскими субтитрами в Full HD качестве

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Американский пирог 3: Свадьба (American Wedding)

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Jim Levenstein has finally found the courage to ask his girlfriend, Michelle Flaherty to marry him. She agrees to get married, but the problems don’t stop there for Jim. Now along with Paul Finch and Kevin Myers, Jim must plan the wedding. Unfortunately Steve Stifler is in town and won’t let the wedding go past without having some fun himself, which includes setting up a secret bachelor party.

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Nouns

Titties, ta-tas, casaba, bazoongas,

Let’s go look at the candelabrum, honey.

Who the hell uses the word «deflower«?

Jim just wants a groomsmen meeting before the wedding.

I’m preparing for the festivities.

How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy?

So, how long have you been a sommelier, Mister.

And your rudeness and obscenities won’t change anything.

Droppings from the gods.

who’s the dog and who’s the fire hydrant tonight.

Where’s Michelle? Washroom?

Can I get a hallelujah?

The caterer said she was saving the truffle for tomorrow.

I hope you didn’t blow your wad on this, Son.

And I’m your filthy cabana boy in need of punishment and cleaning.

Don’t worry. We put her someplace no one will find her.

Well, tastes like twig and berries.

— you dirty little pervert! — Okay.

There’s no keg anywhere.

Crumbs on the shirt. That’s bad.

You didn’t prance around like a ballerina for the whole week.

the chakra and the things I could do to her and.

that monsieur here is stuck right between Scylla and Charybdis.

The caterer said she was saving the truffles for tomorrow.

It’s time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaid, Finchfucker.

And let’s hope we can sit many happy shiva together.

I wanted us to write our own vow for the wedding

And I understand the angst. I mean, it’s your wedding.

Verbs

you’re destine to spend your entire life with?

And all that just radiate from your oh-so-sexy self.

You’ve embarrass me, Harold, and Mr. Belvedere.

None of that plead the Fifth crap.

And, Steven, we still adore you, honey.

I presume we’re having white wine with the turkey.

Something must have disrupt the power.

Close your mouth when you chew, Steven.

No, you bleed imbecile,

No one has ever slap my ass like that.

No one’s ever pinch my nipple with such ferocity.

My God, he shave his entire pubic region,

Jim, I apologize for recommending her to you.

If you insist, fräulein.

I mean, I swear, I’m running out of room in my brain for everything.

and a European pumpkin peel facial for me, please.

I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I freak you out with the whole kiss thing.

Just shout sophistication.

So we won’t be bother. We can just totally relax. No worries.

and I think Jim has sacrifice for you.

to find my fiancée the wedding dress that she deserve.

The food smell great.

I dump him.

The Stiffman dig what’s underneath.

that this is the rudest thing I have ever encounter,

We are gather here today

You know, I think he’s screw.

We celebrate the death of Jim with a party in his honor.

Adverbs

and, reluctantly, I am asking for your help.

I can’t hear you. Louder!

that someday soon, we could have a little talk.

The Stiffman digs what’s underneath.

Let’s see, there you go. This should do nicely.

No, you have to learn sometime. Come on.

and blah-da-blah-da-blah and crap.

I mean, do you act differently around certain people?

I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.

Did I say that out loud?

and somehow you always come out of it better than you went in.

Essentially, it turns the refrigerator into an oven.

But everything is okay now. Everything is perfectly fine.

But boning aside,

And, besides, sometimes

We’ll find a wonderful one somewhere, I promise.

The wine. Obviously.

By the way, apparently you missed when Cadence kissed me.

Drive carefully. More bags in the study.

«Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance»

And I certainly appreciate your courtesy, sir.

That is exactly how our wedding is going to be.

Stifler was in here earlier flipping switches.

Generally, I’m just me. If people don’t like it, that’s their problem.

And, besides, sometimes

It’s gonna be fucking great! My God!

Then finally I realized, «Duh, you love the girl. Marry her.»

Adjectives

all up in our frigging faces!

Christof, please pardon my friend’s uncouth behavior.

No, you bleeding imbecile,

Michelle said the wedding was doable, right?

to get a little rowdy this weekend.

Why don’t you go dust with your perverse European cousin?

Boy, pubic hair was just not an issue when I was dating.

The flowers stay refrigerated until morning.

and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.

You don’t have to be embarrassed

a big, fluffy linen closet at the end of the main hallway.

Give the darn truffle.

How embarrassing.

Look at you, you pathetic little weasel.

Your mother and I could not be more thrilled for you, Jim.

What’d you think, girls? Isn’t this adorable?

they have style. They’re cultured. They’re sophisticated.

Anxious might be more accurate.

He had abdominal cramps.

How tragic.

that this is the rude thing I have ever encountered,

Are you completely insane?

You’re not, like, getting bored with things, are you?

It was an awful idea, but I suppose it’s the thought that counts.

Not to mention you passed on Nadia. Dumbest fucking thing ever.

I mean, your cheeks, they’re flush.

The wedding should be rather entertaining.

to join these two great people in a blessed union

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